My ideal love

He sees me from across the room… and it is only me he sees. Others may try to distract him, but his eyes concentrate on me. He meets me amidst all the beauty that surrounds him, and yet he chooses me, he makes me understand, there is no other girl he sees.

He locks his eyes to mine, and hears of my insecurities, he pulls me close, and expresses his sorrow for my need. He does not enwrap himself in my world, yet becomes apart of what I live. He respects the way I think, and I understand his needs.

He demands that I try for every goal in my life, he helps me succeed even when I fall. He holds my hand through the battle, even though I might fail. He sees my heart, and he loves it for all it’s mistakes, for the past, for the present. He wishes to be apart of my future.

He tries, and when he fails, I am there to wipe away whatever sadness I can. He hurts inside, a destruction he can’t understand. I do not try to take away his hurt, I try to comfort his heart. I respect him deeply, and I am not afraid to look him in the eyes.

He is not afraid to fall to his knees in prayer, in thanks or in turmoil. He witnesses joys, and snares, and yet he stands against the grain. He is strong to others, and I will be stronger for him, as he will be strong for me.

I desire to love him with such a deep love, one that I will not give away too easily. He will understand the time to come to that place. He will know that I will never be the answer, and I will never look to him to be mine. We can both go to the Lord for the answers we need.

He will hold me when my heart is aching, and desire to take away all my pain. I will soothe him when his body is hurting to just stay on top of the game. I will disagree with him, but I will never disrespect him to others. He will be my closest friend, and secretly the only one who will truly understands what happens at the end of the day.

We will be different, and I will love him for his differences, he will love me for my eccentricities. I will desire to hear his voice, even if it makes me cringe – for there is comfort in something so deep within.

I will love him endlessly, I will not purposely hurt him, lie or deceive. I will not play games or be careless with his heart. I hope he too is watching out for me. I want to be able to look him in the eyes, tell him of my life. I do not want to be ashamed for any more than I already am…. My past is still my past, but it could possible hurt him.

This is why I must be so careful with my heart, to give it away to anyone, would be careless on my part. To date would be okay, but please don’t ask me to give too much away. A token of companionship, a crumb of acceptance… this is not what I long for… and I could never tell him, that I was too impatient.

I am open to discovery, I would love to try new things… but please don’t take me back to where my past leads. I want to learn from him how he loves life, I too will share with him the love of mine. This I do not mind doing with someone I am getting to know…. But you must understand, I have to protect my heart. If you end up being the one, then you can rest assured – I waited for you… and those three beautiful words.